Welcome aboard the R.M.S. Titanic! The worlds largest ship (for all of five minutes, but that comes later), Titanic has all the best luxuries and modern technological achievements that will make it the not quite fastest, and soon to be eclipsed vessel of beauty and grandeur... if you like that stuff.
But your not here for the trip, are you? Or, rather, the different trip that we advertised, the "Multi-Dimensional Exploration Vessel And Liferaft", or the MDEVAL Trip?
Alright, hand your ticket over, and... Thank you [Insert Your Name Here]! I hope you will enjoy your trip!
Oh, and don't tell the other people here what you are doing... monocles will pop out and drinking glasses will shatter. And you might be confined to a Mental Asylum.